Some women have a fear of growing older. Maybe they’ve always been “beautiful” and reinforced for physical beauty throughout their lives. There may be no worse curse than to be a beauty. I know, shocking! But it’s true. A beauty is told so often that she’s beautiful that she may doubt her other qualities. She may not know that she’s funny, intelligent, or brave. And as she grows older and the younger beauties are hot on her heels, she may think that she has to hold on to that beauty at all costs, because she has nothing else.
This leads to unfortunate collagen accidents and costly plastic surgeries. This leads to dressing like a teenager when she’s in her mid 40s. This leads to being vulnerable to men who, understanding the psychology of a beauty, don’t tell her she’s beautiful – but tell her she’s smart. Now, she may indeed be smart, but even the smartest beauty can’t resist a man who acknowledges her intelligence and this leaves her wide open to being seduced by a man who has found her weakness.
On the other side, we have the woman who has never thought she was beautiful. She’s had to discover other ways to attract and intrigue. She may have sharp wit or a great career, but underneath she’s the ugly duckling yearning to be told she’s pretty. Some of these women just give up. They don’t bother with the “beauty game” because they don’t think they can compete. So, they dress in a uniform – such as sweats every day, or the same black pants and tops, or any other recycled look – and they silence the woman inside them who wants to be beautiful.
Some women have been or are ‘beauty prisoners of war.’ Someone in their life – it could be a parent, a partner, or another influential person – picks out the negative, never the positive. This beauty terrorist is skilled at finding the little insecurities and blowing them up. If they’re being kind, it’s backhanded compliments – “You look so great for your weight!” But in extreme cases it can be incredibly demoralizing, flat out overt criticisms about appearance. If you’ve survived your beauty POW experience, this book will help you understand why you feel the way you do and how to reclaim your beauty. If you are currently in a POW situation, this book will give you the confidence to understand how another person sees you has nothing to do with beauty. You own your beauty and you have the power to decide how you feel about how you look.
Whether you were the beauty or the ugly duckling or a beauty POW, understanding your beauty psychology is important. Your life experiences have created your unique perception of beauty – nobody sees ‘beautiful’ exactly the way you do. The people and influences you encountered in your childhood, when you were forming your vision of ‘beauty’ play a role in how you see yourself today. You have a unique view of yourself. Nobody sees your physical self exactly as you do. This view of yourself can change as your life unfolds. Divorce. Illness. Stress. Cancer. Pregnancy. Menopause. Weight changes. They all affect how you see yourself and what you choose to project.
Today's Beauty Rehab Question: What are your beauty fears? Do you have any 'beauty terrorists' from your past (or present?) who are still feeding you negative thoughts?
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