I've just started reading a new book "Little Bee" that has received very good reviews. I'm only a few pages into it and was stopped by a wonderful quote from the narrator, a Nigerian girl living in England: "I ask you right here please to agree with me that a scar is never ugly. That is what the scar makers want us to think. But you and I, we must make an agreement to defy them. We must see all scars as beauty. Okay? This will be our secret. Because, take it from me, a scar does not form on the dying. A scar means, I survived."
I don't yet know what her scars are, but I'm sure they factor in the story and reveal much about her. All of our scars reveal things about ourselves and instead of hiding, we need to embrace them.
I have a 4 1/2 inch scar that traces my collarbone. It's the result of surgeries I had to fix the bone after it was broken in an accident. The surgeon inserted a metal plate to heal the bone, waited 9 months, then went back in and took it out. The accident itself was traumatic - and when the doctor told me I would need to have surgery to repair the bone he was apologetic about the requisite scar. There's no way to hide the incision across that bone. I thought I would be upset by the scar. I thought my 'beauty OCD' would kick in and it would bother me (it's the same condition that makes me keep my nails polished nicely and legs shaved at all times!)
Surprisingly, I have come to see my scar as a badge of honor, in a way. It's an accidental tattoo that acknowledges that I'm a survivor. It's sort of sexy, even - makes me feel like a woman of mystery! (Hey, where did you get that scar? Knife fight?)
Most days I forget it's there unless someone points it out. It hasn't changed what I wear or how I feel about myself and my beauty. So, when I read that passage, it resonated with me. The same attitude applies to all my scars. I can look at the stretch marks from having three children and be distraught, or I can remember that I earned those marks and I have beautiful boys to show for it. I see the scar in my left eyebrow where my brother and I ran into each other playing 'kick the can' in the dark when I was 10 and I remember my childhood. Every scar has a story and deserves respect.
Padma Lakshmi, a former model and gorgeous television personality, has a prominent scar on her arm that she sees as something that makes her special. "I've started seeing my body as a map of my life," says Lakshmi. Her perspective is very inspiring!
Your assignment: Look at your scars and remember how you got them. What did you learn? How can you embrace your scars to make them beautiful?
xx
Coni
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